How to Not Screw Up Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day is a BIG deal to new time moms (it’s like a second birthday), but I guarantee you 90% of new moms will not say anything to their husbands or partners about how they want to celebrate.
I don’t think women are playing a game of, “Gotcha!” or trying to set their partners up to fail; maybe your significant other doesn’t want “to make a big fuss” or she’s secretly hoping for you to plan a surprise. (If you don’t believe me, Google “husband forgot Mother’s Day.”) The point is: Mother’s Day carries significance to all moms and especially to new mothers celebrating for the first time this year.
Partners and husbands, here is how to nail your first Mother’s Day and make this holiday a wonderful and memorable day!
1. Ask her what she’d like to do for Mother’s Day and have suggestions ready.
Simply asking your partner, “So, whaddya wanna do for Mother’s Day?” sounds (to her) like, “Can you plan something for Mother’s Day?” which is the last thing a mom wants to do; it’s like throwing your own surprise party.
Instead, when you pose the question, immediately follow it up with some original ideas of possible celebrations, “What would you like to do for Mother’s Day? I thought I would take the kids for a walk, so you can relax at home. Then I’ll pick up lunch and we can have a booze-y brunch at home…” This demonstrates that you have given thought to the day and are double-checking that this sounds like a nice and celebratory day to her, too.
2. Get all of the housework done the day before.
No mom wants to fold laundry or haul out the trash on Mother’s Day. That said, do not make a whole production of how you’re doing the housework, “Honey, don’t you lift a finger! I’ll do it all today!” It just makes it weird and can actually be a sore spot as she thinks, “So why can’t you pitch in more like this every other day of the year?” Instead, just get all the errands and little to-do’s out of the way the day before so you can focus on her in a fun and less doting way.
3. Wish her a happy Mother’s Day.
Be the first person to wish her a happy Mother’s Day, “Good morning! Happy Mother’s Day!” This simple wish is so touching and will mean a lot to her coming from you.
Bonus tip: If you can, wake up early to intercept your kiddos from wandering into your bedroom, so your partner can sleep in, even if it’s only a few minutes extra. It just feels nice to not have to open your eyes and immediately be on parent duty.
4. Just buy the over-priced flowers.
I know. The Mother’s Day markup on flowers is ridiculous. But buy them for your wife anyway. Or at least a cheesy Mother’s Day card. Mother’s Day does not need to come with lavish gifts, but having just a small physical gift shows that you were putting forethought into the day and not just whipping together French toast as an afterthought the morning of.
5. Remember your own mother!
And, as you’re busily preparing for a celebration for the mother of your children, do not forget about your own mom! Pick up an extra card for her at the pharmacy or schedule a FaceTime call with her grandkids.
Listen, I get it: Mother’s Day can feel like a hyper-commercialized Hallmark holiday, not unlike Valentine’s Day. But it’s still nice to honor moms who do so much for their families (much of which is invisible labor and goes largely unnoticed and without thanks), so put extra effort into making Mother’s Day a relaxing and special day for her!