How Our Toddler Stays Close with His Grandparents Who Live Far Away

My parents live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and, pandemic aside, we’re not able to visit them as frequently as I would like.Given the physical distance between us, I worried a lot about Lee feeling stranger anxiety towards my mom or dad or them not having a warm bond because Lee wasn’t familiar with them. 

Here is how we help our toddler stay close and connected with his grandparents and extended family across the miles:

1. Pick a regular and mutually convenient time for FaceTime.

Babies and especially toddlers crave routine; the predictability of their days is deeply comforting to them. So folding a FaceTime call with relatives into your daily schedule ensures your toddler is more mentally prepared for the video call and is more likely to be in a good and receptive mood.

We chose to add our daily calls with my parents into our breakfast routine. Mornings are typically busy for any family, but I find it to be helpful to have Lee entertained by his grandparents while I pour myself more coffee or cook breakfast.

Once Lee is set at the table with some toast and berries, I prop my phone against the fruit bowl and we call my mom. As my mom explains, “Lee is well-rested and excited to start his day. And he knows that his HiHi [Lee’s name for his maternal grandma] is ready for him in the wee morning hours.”

2. Opt for frequent, but shorter check-ins.

Lee’s morning calls with my parents only last the roughly 10 minutes he’s eating. There are some mornings his butt barely touches his high chair before he announces he’s, “All done!” Other mornings he will chatter away at my parents for half an hour. 

Nix weekly hour-long marathon catch-up sessions and consider daily but brief calls with your loved ones. My mom points out that even though the call may be cut short, “There isn’t that pressure to make every chat wonderful and adorable. There is always tomorrow morning!”

3. Accept that not every FaceTime call will go smoothly.

And to my mom’s point above, recognize that there will be mornings when your toddler throws a raw egg at you while you are cleaning up another broken egg (speaking from experience), dumps the entire Brita water pitcher onto the floor and then slips in the puddle of water (again, personal experience), or is simply not having it today. Recognize that rough mornings (or afternoons or evenings) are inevitable; simply tell your loved one you have to go and will call them tomorrow instead.

4. Create a shared photo album.

A set-it-and-forget-it way to share photos with your loved ones is to create a shared photo album via iCloud or Google Drive. This is especially helpful when you’re strapped on time and can’t share photos with family members individually.

5. Share videos in addition to photos.

Photos are always appreciated, but my family (and parents especially) adore receiving videos of Lee. It gives them more insight into his personality and abilities during a time they’re not able to observe Lee personally. Even if it’s a short clip of Lee feeding a bottle to his stuffed animal or confessing to drawing on his feet with a pen, videos offer wonderful glimpses into Lee’s daily life that my family is craving right now. My pro-tip: Keep filming for 10 seconds longer because it’s always immediately after you stop recording your toddler does something hilarious. 

How do you and your family members stay close when you can’t be together? Share your tips with us at parentingstyleblog@gmail.com!