5 Ways to be a Supportive Partner During the 2 Week Wait
The infamous “2 Week Wait” is the seemingly endless stretch of time in between ovulation and your expected period. What makes this an especially difficult time for couples trying to conceive is that you get lost in your own head and think any perceived symptom is a sign that you’re pregnant.
There are countless articles to help women distract themselves through this pregnancy limbo window, but being a partner during the two-week wait is difficult, too.
Here are some pointers on how you can help your significant other weather the two-week wait...
1. Plan something for the end of the two-week wait.
Organize a weekend getaway or stay-cation or an exciting to-do for the end of the two-week wait to give you both something to look forward to other than your pregnancy testing date.
And, if at the end of your two-week wait, your partner is pregnant, wonderful! This makes for an exciting celebratory event! If she’s not, you have something teed up to take both of your minds off of it.
2. Listen.
During our two-week wait(s) as we tried to get pregnant, I became the real-world version of that meme of Charlie Day ranting about his conspiracy theory in front of the evidence board with all the string. I would ramble tirelessly to Andrew with lectures on the biology of implantation and list out my perceived symptoms as I tried to prematurely predict if this was “our month.”
Poor Andrew. I knew I should calm down or at least redirect this energy into something else, but I couldn’t help myself! But having Andrew just listen allowed me to exorcise some of my anxieties and, once I got them out of my head, I didn’t harp on them as much.
3. Share your feelings, too.
Throughout the two-week wait, I appreciated when Andrew would tell me if he was disappointed or nervous, too. It grounded me and served as a reminder that 1. He wants this for us, too. And 2. I’m not going it alone.
The two-week wait is an anxious time and I tend to withdraw (and then abruptly lash out) when I’m stressed out; when I put an emotional wall up, I convince myself that Andrew doesn’t “get it” and the distress is mine to bear alone. Hearing Andrew’s feelings reminded me that we’re going through the emotional ringer together.
4. Propose some activities to take her mind off of the two-week wait and offer to do them together.
The general recommendation for any woman during the two-week wait is to stay busy: organize your closets; start an engrossing book; or dive into a crafting project and so forth. Even though I had a list of to-dos handy for a welcomed distraction, all I wanted to do was sit, obsess, and repeatedly Google the earliest possible date I can take a pregnancy test.
I relied heavily on Andrew to break me out of my dwelling spiral. So, if your partner is like me and constantly re-reading the pregnancy test instructions, suggest an activity to focus on together (like cooking an involved recipe) and then facilitate the experience: find the recipe, create the grocery list, ask her to go shopping with you… I would initially resist Andrew’s suggestions of an activity (pretty much just shooting them down immediately), but once we got going, I felt so much better and was grateful to Andrew for that initial encouraging nudge.
5. Re-frame your words of encouragement.
Comforting your partner during the two-week wait is difficult and you may struggle to find the right words to help her (and yourself!) remain positive, especially if your two-week wait ends without a positive pregnancy test. Telling your partner, “It’s a bummer, but maybe next month!” may seem encouraging, but it can come across as insincere or insensitive as if you’re glossing over her deep disappointment.
Comfort her with kind words that still recognize her hurt feelings like:
I love you so much.
I know this is really difficult. We will find a way to make it happen.
I’m sorry. Do you want to get some fresh air?
If you and your significant other have already survived the two-week wait, here are some pointers on how you can continue being a supportive partner through her pregnancy.